I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, but have been together for 15 years. We met in college in an English class. He needed an assignment and somehow tracked down my number. Came by to get the assignment one day and the next day he called to ask me out on a date. We’ve been together ever since that first date. We have tried to start a family for seven years and are in the middle of the crazy journey of IVF. This blog is my way of sharing our story and hopefully connecting with others.

We started TTC when I was 28 and I assumed that it would be easy. I’d thrown out the bcp somewhere around 26 or 27, so we’d been using other forms. We got serious later that year, meaning we threw out all preventative measures and left it to chance. I’d made up my mind that it was time, so nature would just work with me, right? 6-7 months later and we had no results. My period came like clockwork every 28 days. I was ovulating. I knew this because I can always feel cramping around day 13 or 14 in my cycle, but since we were getting really serious I purchased ovulation kits, books, a basal thermometer, and made the appointment with my doctor. She did some work ups on me, met with us and immediately plowed into a plan of attack. Things went from us in the control seat, to having no control real quick. A missed phone call into the pharmacy by the nurse and my clomid wasn’t ready for pick up on the day 3 window she’d said was vitally important to not miss.  Call to the emergency line and luckily our doctor was on-call.  She, however, was not so pleased about me calling and acted like it was a real big hassle that she had to call in the script. The one her office failed to do as they said they would…we left that office like a bad habit.

Gynie #2: reevaluated us and agreed with first doctor’s protocol. We’d also made an appointment with an RE’s office that had been in my mother-in-law’s medical building for a time. Luckily because we had a connection to their office manager, she was able to get us in right away and the round was not totally a wash. Met with the RE and felt we’d be in good hands. We still felt that everything was happening to us fairly quickly. RE repeated my workups and redid a semen analysis  on my husband (claimed he wanted it in his lab and not some local small town hospital lab).  Low count for him, but my results looked okay. Completed first IUI and hoped for the best. 28 days, like clockwork…

Decided to take a step back and reconsider what we’d learned. My husband probably needed some time to process. I’d been reading books and gathering information on everything for a good year at this point and he was just joining the whole thing. It isn’t that he wasn’t interested, he was totally vested, but mentally he may not have been as far into the decision as I had been.

We look into alternative medicine. We look at how we can reduce stress. He was coaching two sports and I was coaching one. Our commute was 45 minutes each way into work and we had to drive separately most days. We decided to try naturally and make changes in our lives. Three years go by and we get no results. Money was a concern for going further with treatment, but we finally decide that if we wait until we have the money, we’d possibly miss our window.

Last fall we sought out a new RE in a different practice. New workups. Mine seemed to stay the same, but my husband did have improvement in his count. We were optimistic. We completed three rounds of IUIs with me on clomid. Each resulted in the same thing on day 28 of my cycle. My sport’s season was beginning and our RE’s lab closes quarterly for cleaning, so it seemed natural to take a break.

This summer (May 2012) we started IVF. My fresh cycle went well. We were able to retrieve 18 eggs, 12 fertilized (1/2 naturally and 1/2 through ICSI), 8 of those made it to day 5/6. We did a single transfer on a fresh cycle. Beta was negative (August 2012). We did a single FET. Positive beta, but second test showed my numbers weren’t doubling. Third test showed they dropped and was told to wait out the miscarriage (September 2012). Third round was a single transfer FET (October 31, 2012). Positive beta, more than doubled on second beta, and continued to increase on third. First ultrasound came earlier than planned because of bleeding. Called the office when bleeding started and they scheduled the u/s for the following morning; directed to stay off my feet. (November 20, 2012) By the morning of the u/s, bleeding had stopped and spotting was more of a brown than bright red. RE I saw that day was very positive and confident. U/S showed gestational sack and yolk, CRL was measured as well and I was at about 5 weeks and some days.  (November 26, 2012) Follow up vaginal u/s was a week later and continued to show growth. We were able to see the heartbeat and it measured at 115 bpm.  Happy birthday week for my husband; we thought we were getting our miracle. December 4, 2012: Third vaginal u/s a few days later did not go as planned. The baby was difficult to find and there was no heartbeat visible. I should have been at 7 weeks and 3 days, but measurements were at 6 weeks and 5 days.  Our RE ‘s diagnosis was that the pregnancy wasn’t viable. The D&C was scheduled for Thursday and I started cramping on Wednesday. 12/6/12: D&C; waiting for results from pathology.

As of August 2, 2014:

One fresh IVF

Four FETs; two pregnancies; one chemical (numbers didn’t double as needed) and one lost at 7 weeks

Last FET was July 23; beta was August 2 and negative.

We are out of embryos, but have one fresh round left with Attain. Surrogacy is a possibility, as is adoption. Both depend on us winning the lottery or the DH switching jobs and uprooting to a bigger city. I am grateful and loathsome of our options. Infertility is STILL unexplained. I am now 35 years old and DH will be 38 in a few months.



One thought on “About

  1. Hi there. I think maybe you’re my IF twin, just a few years further down the road. Yours is one of the only blogs I’ve found where your situation is truly unexplained, with regular periods, no PCOS, no extremely low sperm count, no autoimmune stuff, etc etc. It’s so damn frustrating. I’m so sorry for how hard you’ve been struggling and truly hope your next FET is successful and you don’t need to go through the stress of another fresh cycle. Good luck.

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